Do Women Love Entirely Different from Men? An Analysis of TRP's Claim

If you're exredpill like me, you've probably heard it said that women love differently. Perhaps, if you've traveled deep enough, you've even seen it said that women are incapable of love. According to TRP, men and women are fundamentally different in how we love. Men love women very deeply, wanting to protect and provide. Men are truly the romantics. Women, on the other hand, view love more as an opportunistic gain. Women go off of their "tingles," while men go off logic and rationality. It is also said that women are turned off by men who display emotions and empathy, and will leave an emotional "beta" for a coldhearted "alpha" instantly.

I have seen quite a few individuals on this subreddit, who are still RedPilled, say things such as, "this server is such a strawman. Most of these people weren't even part of TRP, you guys know nothing about what we teach." While any brief stroll through RedPill forums will show this being taught, I feel it is important to provide some evidence here. Rollo Tomassi, commonly seen as one of TRP's leading coaches, says the following, "Men believe that love matters for the sake of it, women love opportunistically... Women are utterly incapable of loving a man in the way that he expects to be loved." (1). Furthermore, a website that archives all TRP content went as far as to make a RP dictionary. In this dictionary, they define the term "tingles" as: "A word for what a female allegedly experiences in the presence of an alpha male, overriding all rational thought. To 'give her tingles' is often an advice given in the redpill community to attract women." There also exists countless testimonials from RP men about how, due to some unfortunate life event, they displayed emotion to their female partners. At best, these men were denied sex for a long time due to their beta characteristics, at worst, they were discarded.

Now, this is an issue that I wanted to take seriously. Men and women do have, on average, differences in neurochemistry during crucial developmental periods. Likewise, men and women are socially conditioned differently depending on the culture from which they originate. Could these differences really render women incapable of being romantics? Let's investigate.

One conjoint analysis asked men and women why they were more likely to break up with a certain partner. This analysis found that, "men were more likely to want to break up with a partner due to sexual accessibility deficits, whereas women were more likely to want to break up due to emotional accessibility deficits." (2) How we handle relationship conflict says a lot about how we love. Women, in this analysis, claimed that spending time with their partner, crying, and apologizing to one another were most effective (3). So, to start, we do see a difference between men and women, but it's not the type of difference that TRP asserts. One possible RP rebuttal that I have seen is, "well yeah, that's what women *say*, but what they *want* is very different!" And, quite honestly, I'm not sure how to respond to this. This type of logic can be used to spin almost any narrative. For example, I could say, "Women are fundamentally attracted to men with blue eyes. Even if they rate men with blue eyes less attractive than brown, hazel, or green, they're simply lying to themselves." There's no way to reply to this, as it has no evidence to support it.

In addition to this, another analysis found that, when looking at married couples, men and women both displayed love through affection, and concludes, "Overall, the findings indicate that men and women show their love in more nuanced ways than cultural stereotypes suggest." (4) Despite what TRP often suggests, men and women are not extremely different in how we display our love. A final interesting piece of evidence can be seen when we look at divorce rates among cancer patients. Women were six times more likely than men to be divorced when they received a cancer diagnosis (5). While this is not evidence for a difference in *how* men and women love, it does oppose what Rollo Tomassi has stated. If women are truly opportunistic lovers, and men love solely for the compassion and sake of love, then we would expect the exact opposite of what this 2009 study displayed.

Overall, while men and women do seem to experience/express love in slightly different, very nuanced ways, there is no evidence in the scientific literature to suggest that women are incapable of experiencing and providing fulfilling love. Evidence reviewed in this post demonstrates that both men and women display love through affection, and that women are most likely to end a relationship based off emotional inaccessibility. Thus, the differences are not as drastic as TRP claims. My personal opinion is that people are complex. Neither men nor women love perfectly, but it is a gross generalization to claim that one sex can't provide fulfilling love. What people want out of a relationship is extremely personal, determined by a variety of complex factors, and as straightforward as TRP claims.

References:

therationalmale.com/2011/12/27/women-in-love1.

Wade, T. J., & Mogilski, J. (2018). Emotional Accessibility Is More Important Than Sexual2. Accessibility in Evaluating Romantic Relationships - Especially for Women: A Conjoint Analysis. Frontiers in psychology, 9, 632. doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00632

Wade T. J., Mogilski J., Schoenberg R. (2017). Sex differences in reconciliation behavior after3. romantic conflict. 4 1–7. 10.1007/s40806-017-0108-6

Schoenfeld EA, Bredow CA, Huston TL. Do men and women show love differently in4. marriage? Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2012 Nov;38(11):1396-409. doi: 10.1177/0146167212450739. Epub 2012 Jun 18. PMID: 22711739.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm#:~:text=A%20woman%25. 0is%20six%20times,longer%20the%20marriage%20the%20more

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